Monday, February 18, 2013

Hellllloooooo, honeys!

It seems as if every time I do a closet makeover I find an insult to my sensibilities; that disaster of the dressing room, that bastard of the boudoir.........the wire hanger.  Yes, I'm going to go all Joan Crawford on your butts, because the wire hanger is the evil love child of your previously adored dry cleaner and has no place in your closet!  Banish it, I say!  But, why?

Wire hangers are used at dry cleaners because they are low profile, thin, economical and identical.  That said, they are also your clothes' worst enemy!  ( Well, except for marinara sauce, motor oil and moths, anyway!).   The very thing that makes wire hangers so convenient for cleaners is the thing that can ruin your clothes in a heartbeat..........they're WIRE......, DUH!  Is any part of your body made of wire?  Does any part of your body LOOK like wire?  NO!  Your body has depth and substance - and your clothes hang PERFECTLY on your frame of bone and flesh.  Hangers must mimic the body if they are to support your clothes and care for them!  So, reason ONE for not using the suckers is that they are too narrow to allow your pieces to drape naturally, which causes UNNATURAL lines and lumps.  Have you ever taken a shirt off a wire hanger and noticed that you had a little bulge at the shoulder where the hanger pushed the shoulder out?  HORRIFIC!  Or noticed that there's a line along the shoulder seam that doesn't align with the seam itself?  HORRIFYING!  Or gone to retrieve a dark shirt from its wire jailer and seen a suspicious line of dust?  HORRIBLE!  

Reason TWO for not using the suckers is their NARROWNESS.  They allow clothes to be pushed together, crushed and therefore wrinkled, mussed and creased.  Not good.  Why press your pieces if they're going to be smooshed like dirty laundry?  Reason THREE?  They're metal, so when they come apart, they're SHARP!!!  Their points poke holes in delicate fabrics and the twist at the top is a minefield waiting to catch innocent trim and threads.  Is it any wonder that La Crawford came unhinged???

You may have gathered by now that I dislike wire hangers!  Because they destroy clothes, they are an enemy of your style.  Even your least expensive ensembles deserve better.  What else can you use?  The options are endless, subject to your budget and space allocation.  I'll go into that next week with some suggestions.......until then, remember that "trend" is today, but "style" is forever!!!

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